Justin's Life... February 11-20, 1996

February 11, 1996

6:31PM

I just got off the phone from talking with Chuck. He's coming over in about thirty minutes.

8:33PM

Chuck arrived and we basically just caught up on each other's lives. He told me of the guy he's ga ga over and I told him of the red heads I've been writing. It's been so long since I've actually been ga ga over someone, so I was both happy for Chuck and a little jealous.

He stayed until a few minutes ago when he headed back to Harvard. I'd almost forgotten how cute he is. It was nice to see him again.

10:45PM

I've been pretty depressed since Chuck left. He reminded me of all the stuff I wish I could do. He talked about how he hung around with his friends nearly non-stop. The only person I ever hang around is Rob. I'm grateful for him, but I wish I had a bunch of friends to hang out with... like I always thought college would be. Even when I lived in the dorm my first semester, it wasn't like that for me. I was the one who didn't quite fit in. I thought it was because I was gay, but Chuck's gay and he's fitting in great. I need some friends, but I don't know what to do to get some.

February 13, 1996

4:19AM Technically February 14, 1996

A lot's happened since I last wrote and I'm not quite sure where to start... or just how I should intro this. I guess I should get right to the point.

With this diary, things aren't quite the same as they would be without it. I've sometimes wanted to write about something that happened involving a red head, like "I got a sweet e-mail" or "This really cute red headed guy wrote..." but I've pretty much kept quiet about those interactions because A) they had been limited primarily to e-mail and B) I thought it would be disadvantageous for one guy to read about how I thought another was especially cute, or the like. Know what I mean?

So, anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is, "I went out on a date last night with a red headed guy here in Boston, but I'm wondering how the other guys are going to take it." I thought about just leaving it out of the diary, but that would only be a temporary "fix": I'll probably be heading to Pennsylvania soon to meet Werner, next month I'll be in California meeting Ladd, and I may be flying with Larry to Germany to meet Jens in May. I can't just keep leaving things out. (And that's not even mentioning the guys who I've been writing but haven't seen pictures of yet. ) I seem to be a spider tangled in my own web.

And so goes the chronicle of my date with a red head...

I got e-mail from a guy on Sunday saying that he'd sent me a picture of himself via snail mail but that wished he hadn't. "...there is no way a relationship could work..." I fired back a response saying that he must have felt something when he sent the paper letter, so he should just take it from there. "Life's full of chance and random things that somehow turn tangible. You took a chance... just wait and see how it turns out before you change your mind..." and on Monday I got a letter with his phone number and his picture.

He looked like he was in his early 20's and had bright orange hair. I definitely thought he was worth meeting, especially considering that he lives here in Boston. So I wrote a long letter telling of my anxiousness to meet him and tried to log onto AOL to send it. (His account was on America Online, so I wanted to send it there so I could see when he read it.)

But AOL was flakey. I tried repeatedly to log on, but never succeeded. Finally, I gave up, got his letter, found his phone number and called. He sounded great, very laid back, easy going, with a nice voice. I still wanted to meet him and so, after a few minutes of talking, we agreed to meet at Tower Records at 7:30PM.

I shaved, changed my clothes, and put on my black leather jacket before heading out. (It was freezing outside, but I decided to look nice instead of staying warm. )

I got to Tower and peaked through the window to see a brightly haired guy standing near the door. I walked inside and shook his hand. He was definitely the guy in the picture, but he looked much older. I didn't have much time to look at him, though, because he quickly darted back outside and down Newbury Street.

We walked a while, talking about the day's activities, when he asked me where I'd like to eat. I playfully harassed him about leading me aimlessly in the cold and we stopped at one of the restaurants at random. It, however, was closed.

So we walked on down the street to eventually end up at Newfair Pizza. He asked what I'd like on the pizza and I said Pepperoni and whatever he liked. He ordered a large Pepperoni pizza and we sat down. We talked, but the care-free manner he had on the phone wasn't quite there in person. He was a little tense about meeting me and it showed.

Pretty soon, we got around to how he looked older in person than he did in real life. He apologized, but I told him it wasn't a flaw, that it just threw me because I was expecting someone younger. I asked him how old he was, but he wouldn't tell me. So I left the age question for a while and asked what he did for a living. He wouldn't answer that either. So I asked his last name. Nope, he wouldn't tell. I kept on, though, and finally got him to tell me his age... a little later, I got his occupation, but I never did get his last name, and it kept nagging at me for most of the night.

Anyway, Greg paid for the pizza, we talked for a good while as we ate, and he opened up a little before we headed to Copley to watch Two If By Sea. I went to the ticket counter and was going to pay for both tickets when Greg said that he'd get it. I asked if he was sure and he said yes. We went inside and sat down in the near empty theatre. By the time the movie began twenty minutes later, Greg had just started to open up and let me see the real him, so I didn't really get to know him too well.

After the movie, I asked where we were heading and he said something about how he'd walk me back to my apartment and then he'd catch the T. His not telling me his last name was still bugging me in the back of my head, so there was no way I was going to let him know where I lived. At the corner of Mass Ave. and Boylston, he stuck out his hand to shake mine, but I gave him a hug instead. He then went towards the T and I went towards my apartment.

When I logged on a little later, I found a note saying that he had a nice time but "if you write about it ... just do not put any identifiable details until we get to know each other better." His paranoidness about the diary was both understandable yet too much.

So, anyway, I wrote back:

Greg (if that's your real name *grin*),

I had a really nice time tonight. I wasn't disapproving of your looks when we first met; it's just that you look a lot younger in your picture, and so I was a little thrown when I saw you in person. If looking now at the picture and comparing it to the guy I hung out with tonight, the same conclusion holds. And like I said, don't let the age things worry you, I find Robert Redford attractive and he must be nearly twice your age... and I find you attractive too, just for the record. ;-)

Thanks for dinner and the movie, too. That was sweet of you to pay. :-) From what I could tell, you liked "Two if by Sea" so hopefully you'll watch a movie with me again. Maybe?

It was sorta awkward with you not telling me your last name and me having to pry out your occupation and age. It was like you were putting up a wall and I know I kept myself more distanced because of it. Whenever we were at the corner of Mass Ave. and Boylston and you were going to walk in my direction, to take me home, I thought to myself that I wasn't going to let you, primarily because I thought I was opening up a lot more than you. I mean, I thought it wouldn't be too fair for me to let you know where I live when you wouldn't even tell me your last (or middle) name. So, in other words, you're going to have to trust me if you want me to trust you.

That little squeeze you gave me on the leg (in the movie theatre)was really sweet... and whenever I nudged my knee to yours, my jeans got a little tight. *smile*

Okay, I'll get this on it's way, because I have to talk to Larry and pass along all the details. I'd like to go out again soon, if you're agreeable to that, of course.

                                          Justin

I did have a nice time and I do hope to see him again, but I also hope that by writing about this online, I haven't alienated the other red headed guys writing me or made them feel like anonymous contestants in some huge red headed casting call (as someone called it before). It's really not that way. Sure, e-mail is all in the same font and most writing styles aren't that unique, but I keep everyone separate. (It's a lot easier if I have a picture to go with a name, but even without a picture, I still manage.) Ok, last ditch attempt, "Red headed guys who are writing me (or are thinking about writing me), I promise you're not (or won't be) just some random e-mail."

It's 6:13AM, so if this entry seems particularly odd, playful, or weird, take that into consideration.

February 14, 1996

3:50AM Technically February 15, 1996

For the past day and a half, I've been trying to install a new hard drive.

From the beginning, the hard drive that came with my computer was nearly dead. It worked slower than normal and sometimes quit in the middle of a Windows session. So I ordered a 1.6gig drive (about three times larger) which came yesterday.

After it arrived, Rob and I went to the computer store in Cambridge to buy a new cable and mounting brackets. We came back and I spent several hours trying to get the new drive, the old drive, and the CD-ROM to work. Finally, I isolated the problem to the IDE2 cable not working: Two drives would be my limit.

So, anyway, I tried installing Windows 95 from scratch on the new drive. It still wouldn't work. So I reformatted and decided to install Windows 95 on the old drive then move it entirely over to the new drive, leaving the old drive to collect dust since it was dying anyway.

I installed it, and it worked during the first session only to magically lose the modem in the second.

So I uninstalled Win95 again and went to sleep at a little after 7AM.

I woke up at around 2PM and decided to install Win95 yet again on my old drive. I spent the 45 minutes needed to install it, then noted all the settings for the modem in the first session. When I rebooted, Win95 had changed them: the modem no longer worked. So I manually changed them back and disabled the automatic IRQ assignment feature.

Now I had the problem of getting the working Windows95 off the old drive and onto the new. Win95 couldn't find both hard drives, so I couldn't simply drag and drop one onto the other. (not that that would have worked anyway.) and the only command I could find that would copy directories was xcopy, but it wouldn't copy hidden or system files. (In English, I could copy everything like word processing and graphics files, but xcopy wouldn't copy files needed to make programs work.)

So I called Maxtor, the hard drive manufacturer, to ask them if they had a solution. After waiting on hold, then giving the guy all my vital statistics, I asked how I could copy one drive to another.

"Well, xcopy works pretty well," said the guy on the phone.
"But doesn't it not copy hidden or system files?"
"Well, yeah, that's why I said it works pretty well."
"So there's not really a way to get everything off one hard drive onto another?"
"uhhh..."

I decided I could xcopy everything, then manually copy the system/hidden files. I set xcopy on it's way and began to wait.

Before too long, Larry called to check on my progress. He said that he had a program that came with his Mac Zip drive backup software that would copy the entire hard drive, and then it hit me. If I could somehow backup the old hard drive and restore it to the new one, I'd have all the files I needed.

I ran msbackup and selected all the directories. Nearly an hour later, I had a 373 megabyte file on the new drive which contained all the files from the old drive. I told msbackup to restore to the new drive and it did. Another hour later, I had the files from the old drive onto the new. But when I typed win, I was told that the current version of Windows didn't work under DOS 6.22.

Apparently, Win95's pseudo-DOS can't be copied using actual DOS.

And then, (if you think this reads long, you should have experienced it first hand) I hooked the old drive back up, uninstalled Windows 95, and proceeded to do the whole backup and restore deal again. Windows 3.11 loaded, but COM3 didn't exist. The modem wouldn't work.

I tried switching some settings, but it didn't help. So I hooked the old drive back up and tried to figure out why the modem and COM3 worked there, but not on the new drive, and then when I rebooted, I noticed the text going by was different. I replaced the config.sys file with the one from the old drive, and Presto! It worked. Windows 95 will have to wait until another day... or year.